I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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