well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
