I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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