oh god the rape fog is back!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
