ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
