i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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