I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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