do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
