haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
