Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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