morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
