his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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