just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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