I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You are the jesus of drinking
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.