dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!