Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.