Do you still have your period?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
