I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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