I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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