Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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