Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
