Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
