Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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