Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he was CRYING into my vagina
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
