??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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