my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
