I'm pants shitting drunk right now
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
