k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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