I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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