So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
