hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
