why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
