mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
