i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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