Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize