Whod you bang
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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