i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
