dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
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I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
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Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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