True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
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I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
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We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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