just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
