im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
