he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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