and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
