Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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