how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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