I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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