I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I think your dad took our porno
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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