honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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