Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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