saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
In America we eat man semen.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
