I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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