i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
