I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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