I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
dude. I can hear the air.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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