You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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