You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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