Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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