then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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