when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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