We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
