Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
