How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
