u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
