everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
