try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
