Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
