Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
